


seasons (waiting on you)

by empireoffclouds



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, But it focuses more on the 2014 season onwards, But with Sewis endgame you have been warned, Friends to Lovers, God the amount of pining in this is astronomical, Hurt/Comfort, It spans from 2008 to 2017, It's a lot of Lewis and Nico's relationship through Seb's eyes, Like you'd be surprised how much of this actually happened, Love Confessions, M/M, Obviously it's fiction but with many elements of what actually happened, Oh and Daniel is the best friend we all deserve, Pining, Sebastian pines so hard for Lewis on this guys, Slow Burn, Told mostly from Sebastian's POV, not beta read we die like (wo)men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-30
Updated: 2020-12-30
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:47:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28423422
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empireoffclouds/pseuds/empireoffclouds
Summary: Whenever someone asked Lewis whether he remembered the first time he met Sebastian, he always gave the same answer.“Yeah of course, we raced against each other in Formula 3”And to some extent, he was right, they’d properly met for the first time during their time in F3.But at the same time, not quite.Because Sebastian did remember the very first time he’d met Lewis.Even if he wanted to, he never would've been able to forget.(Alternatively: Lewis and Sebastian's relationship through the years, from when they first met in 1998 to the 2017 season)
Relationships: Lewis Hamilton/Nico Rosberg, Lewis Hamilton/Sebastian Vettel
Comments: 17
Kudos: 110





	seasons (waiting on you)

**Author's Note:**

> So here it is, the time has finally come for me to contribute to the Sewis tag and I am honestly so excited about it.
> 
> Obviously this is a work of fiction, but honestly I was very inspired by real life events and you'd all be surprised by how much of what I included in this actually happened (bar the romance, of course).
> 
> But anyways, I really hope you guys enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it 💛
> 
> Quick disclaimer: I'm actually really fond of Nico Rosberg but he isn't the best guy in this fic, you've been warned.
> 
> (Oh and the title comes from a song by Future Islands that has the same name, it's a great song so go listen to it if you want!)

Whenever someone asked Lewis whether he remembered the first time he met Sebastian, he always gave the same answer.

“Yeah of course, we raced against each other in Formula 3”

And to some extent, he was right, they’d properly met for the first time during their time in F3.

But at the same time, not quite.

Because Sebastian did remember the very first time he’d met Lewis.

It had been at some junior racing championship back in 98, when Sebastian was still a young and wide-eyed kid who could only dream about driving a Formula 1 car someday.

He had been running around the circuit trying to find his father, when he’d tripped over seemingly thin air and shut his eyes to brace for impact.

Only that the impact never came, and when he’d peeked one eye open it was to meet the kindest pair of brown eyes he’d ever seen looking down at him.

“Hey, are you alright man?” the boy - couldn’t be older than thirteen - asked, not looking the least bit bothered by having an armful of Sebastian Vettel.

Seb had blinked up at him a few times, before feeling his whole face flush red.

“U-Um yeah, thanks”

The older boy had smiled amusedly at his reaction, but not in a mean way.

He’d carefully helped Sebastian straighten up, holding his shoulders with firm hands to ensure the German had properly regained his footing.

Sebastian tried to think of something to say, but before anything came to mind someone was calling the boy’s name and the moment passed.

“I guess that’s my cue to leave” he said, squeezing Seb’s shoulders in a friendly manner before letting his hands drop “see you around man”

The Briton sent him a wink before turning around and walking away.

“Yeah... see you around” he answered, although he knew the boy couldn’t hear him anymore.

That afternoon, the name Lewis Hamilton was called over the speakers as the presenter announced second place - and as Sebastian looked at the boy trotting up the stairs of the stage to accept his trophy, he somehow knew that wasn’t the last time he’d see him do that.

But he had no way of knowing just how accurate that thought had been.

* * *

During their time in Formula 3, Lewis and Sebastian didn’t really cross paths much.

They were both aware of each other’s existence of course, and they did battle it out on the track more than once, but they didn’t precisely talk to each other outside of it.

And then Sebastian moved up to Formula 1, and he met Nico.

Well, again, not quite.

He had met Nico a few years back, but they hadn’t really talked much apart from the occasional “hello” and idle chit chat.

But being two newcomers in Formula 1 had brought them together, and they actually became pretty good friends.

Maybe it had to do with how they were both rookies and they both spoke German and therefore they naturally gravitated towards each other during events where they didn’t really know anyone else.

And Sebastian genuinely liked Nico. Sure, he could be a bit of a bitch sometimes, but really which twenty-year-old boy isn’t?

They started spending more and more time together off the track, even going as far as to spending some of their days off with each other just fucking around in whichever city they found themselves in.

And with Nico, invariably, came Lewis.

After spending a year as a testing driver for Sauber, Sebastian was finally moved up to an actual seat at Toro Rosso, the same year Lewis was given a seat at McLaren.

And maybe he wouldn’t have gotten to know Lewis so well if it wasn’t for Nico.

The two of them had been racing together since childhood, but strangely enough Sebastian couldn’t remember ever having seen Nico before they were all in the big leagues.

Funny how those things work.

(He still remembered when Nico had introduced him, and how when he heard the words “ _Hey man, I’m Lewis_ ” he had to resist the urge to answer with “ _I know_ ”)

Seb’s first full season in F1 had been incredible, he even became the youngest driver to win a Grand Prix - and in Italy no less. He really couldn’t complain.

But Lewis? Lewis just seemed to be on another level entirely.

He vividly remembered that day in Sao Paulo, and how Sebastian came incredibly close to becoming the reason why Lewis wouldn’t become World Champion that season - after being frustratingly close to tasting glory the year before.

(Lewis always joked that if he’d lost that day maybe they would’ve never become friends, Sebastian sent a mental thank you to Timo Glock whenever that happened)

The German expected to feel resentment, or maybe even jealousy as he watched Lewis become the youngest driver to win the championship.

But for some strange reason he didn’t.

If anything, the thought of having Lewis as his fiercest competitor just sent a thrill of anticipation running down his spine.

There was just something about racing against Lewis that made Sebastian feel things he never had before.

Where he felt annoyance when any other driver came too close to him, he just felt a fire burning inside him when Lewis did it, and any time one bested the other they would find each other amongst the paddock afterwards and share little conspiratorial smirks.

Sebastian didn’t fully understand those moments shared between them and only them - but he didn’t mind it, not in the slightest.

It wasn’t the same with Nico, even if he couldn’t quite put his finger on why.

* * *

The next few years were nothing short of amazing for Sebastian.

Red Bull gave him a seat, and with that it seemed like his World Champion aspirations just flew right towards him and he welcomed them with open arms.

He snatched Lewis’s record of being the youngest driver to ever win the championship, barely a year after he’d set it.

But even if Lewis wasn’t particularly known for his levelheadedness during that time, he never let that affect his friendship with Sebastian.

When Nico moved to Mercedes to be teammates with Michael, nothing much changed either.

(It did, but he wouldn’t find out about it until later).

Those seasons at Red Bull were magical. He won the championship again in 2011, and he did it once more in 2012.

Of course becoming a three time consecutive world champion was better than anything Sebastian could’ve imagined, it was something he couldn’t have come up with even in his wildest childhood dreams.

But somehow, the thing he remembered the most about the 2012 season was him sharing the podium with Lewis in Texas and grinning stupidly at each other as they wore those silly cowboy hats.

The only thing that soured his elation was the knowledge of Lewis’s discontentment with McLaren.

Sebastian didn’t understand why he was still there, especially because he knew Lewis had everything necessary to become the best driver the sport had ever seen.

That impression he got of him the first time he saw him race never changed.

So when Mercedes announced they were signing Lewis - to be teammates with Nico, no less - he had been more than thrilled for him.

Now they could finally go back to competing in near equal terms.

It was with that thought in mind that Sebastian went to find Lewis after the final race of the season.

He had just been crowned World Champion, but he could only think about going to congratulate his friend on his move.

They were so used to barging into each other’s driver’s room that Sebastian didn’t even think twice before opening the door of the McLaren driver, but as he took in the scene in front of him, he quickly slammed it shut.

In many ways, he wasn’t surprised at finding out that Lewis and Nico had at some point become _Lewis and Nico_.

Sebastian wasn’t blind, he had seen the way Lewis sometimes looked at Nico - all wide smiles and adoring eyes.

And he supposed that somewhere along the way Nico had started looking right back.

(Maybe he hadn’t noticed becaus _e he_ had always been too busy looking at Lewis)

And Lewis and Nico did make sense.

It wasn’t common for two stars to collide.

But sometimes, two stars that shone so bright were bound to be attracted to the other.

They came knocking at Sebastian’s hotel room that same night, all tense shoulders and fearful faces, asking him what he had seen.

The German only shrugged, and answered that he hadn’t seen anything that would make him think about them any different.

(Even though the image of Lewis tangled in Nico’s embrace, his hands tugging on blonde hair, was one that would haunt his dreams for years to come)

Lewis and Nico had looked so relieved after that that Sebastian couldn’t help but roll his eyes and pull them into a hug, the three of them chuckling at the awkward ways they had to position their bodies in order to properly hold each other.

They were two of his best friends, and he was genuinely happy for them, which made it easier to ignore that ache in his chest that he couldn’t (didn’t want to) understand.

Nico had to spend a couple of weeks of that summer break in Finland tending to some family business, and Sebastian invited Lewis to his home in Switzerland so that he wouldn’t feel lonely while he was away.

(Or at least that’s what he told himself)

That time spent with Lewis was something Sebastian always found himself fondly looking back to.

It was just so _easy_ to be around him.

Seb felt like no one had ever understood him as well as Lewis did. He had a good relationship with most of the men in the paddock, men who had one or several championships to their name even.

But only Lewis understood the pressure that came with achieving glory at such a young age.

Although at that moment in time he had only tasted the ultimate victory once, he still knew better than most about the bitterness that came with the sweet.

Whenever Sebastian was with Lewis, he truly felt like he could just be himself - as cheesy as that sounds.

Their personalities fit so fucking well together, and after only one day spent with the Briton on his home he felt as though they’d been living together for years.

And it was more than a little terrifying.

Somehow, he managed to ignore those feelings that he definitely wasn’t ready to unpack for the entire two weeks they spent together.

But even then, he had to admit that watching him go running back to Nico’s arms when the season restarted was more than a little painful to him.

(He tried to tell himself it was just because he missed his friend, but his heart screamed at him that it wasn’t that simple)

* * *

After that, Sebastian did the only thing that could help him numb those yet unnamed feelings - throw himself headfirst into work, adamant to get that fourth title.

And he had got it, by a landslide.

The ecstasy that came with victory was a very effective method to drown out all the things he was struggling with, but the downside was that that high didn’t last forever.

Even if Sebastian had dominated the 2013 championship, you had to be blind not to see how Lewis was slowly but steadily bringing Mercedes to the top.

The Brit had finished fourth, two places above Nico - who had been with the team for over three years.

Although, Nico didn’t seem to mind. It seemed like the honeymoon stage of their relationship had been extended by them practically spending every second of every day together, both in the paddock and out of it.

Lewis looked at Nico with such adoration that Sebastian really was surprised that no one had caught on to the fact that the two were together in more ways than just driving for the same team.

It was blindingly obvious, impossible to ignore... or at least Sebastian thought so.

And then the 2014 season came.

Contrary to what people believed, leaving Red Bull hadn’t been an easy decision.

Sebastian owed some of the best years of his life to the team, he’d managed to win four straight titles with them.

But Ferrari had always been the dream, and the German wasn’t going to turn down their offer. He had never been one to stay where he was just because it was comfortable, and he wasn’t planning on starting now.

Christian had been disappointed by his departure of course, but he also understood the appeal of those shiny red cars, and he told Sebastian that there would never be bad blood between them.

Lewis and Nico had also been thrilled for him when he broke the news, and it did fill Sebastian’s heart with warmth to know that his two best friends were genuinely happy for him.

That year was the first one where the three of them regularly started sharing podiums, and although Sebastian was happy to lift his trophies alongside his friends there was also a small part of him that dreaded having to see the way they would cling to each other, basking in the other’s presence almost as much as they did in the cheers of the crowd.

(The three would later become the drivers to share the most podiums together in the history of the sport. Funny how those things work)

Looking back, that season had been the start of the Mercedes-Petronas dynasty. But more importantly, it had been the start of the Lewis Hamilton dynasty.

And God, the competitiveness that was intrinsic to every Formula 1 driver would never allow Sebastian to be totally fine with watching him winning nearly every single race.

But there was another part of him, one that was bigger than he’d like to admit, that felt so stupidly proud of the Briton.

Every time he saw him climbing into the top step of the podium, he was brought back to the first time he’d seen him lifting up a trophy, when he had somehow predicted how common an occurrence that would be.

It was almost magical to see Lewis’s light getting brighter and brighter. He had always been a star, but now he was turning into a full-blown supernova.

And even though it wasn’t intentional, even though Sebastian knew that Lewis would never do it on purpose, the intensity of his light was starting to overpower Nico’s.

Lewis and Nico competed for the title during the entire season, but even then, Sebastian never thought that their rivalry was anything other than what was usual for teammates.

It probably had something to do with the fact that Sebastian had started to unconsciously drift away from the two of them, feeling more and more like a third wheel whenever he hanged out with just the two of them.

It was only normal that he’d want to keep some distance from the couple, after all, giving them their space was what any good friend would do.

(Or at least that’s what he told himself, unwilling to admit the real reason why he couldn’t stomach to spend much time around them)

And they had both had unbelievable seasons anyways. Lewis had won virtually every single race, and the ones he hadn’t had gone to Nico.

The thought of whether Nico was dissatisfied with what had quickly become a perpetual second place did cross Sebastian’s mind, but he shut it down almost as soon as it had appeared.

When Lewis inevitably clinched the title, the three of them went out to celebrate after they had properly celebrated with the Mercedes crew.

It had felt just like the old days, and everything had seemed completely normal.

Nico kept showering Lewis with praise that the Brit clearly basked on, and although Sebastian was trying his best to showcase his happiness for his friend, the more he watched them being all affectionate with each other the sicker to his stomach he felt.

So he politely excused himself entirely too early, arguing that he had to catch a flight in the morning and he wouldn’t want to risk sleeping in.

(And Seb felt his stomach twisting at the strange look Lewis shot him, because he knew the German was never late for anything, no matter what)

He lightly clapped Nico’s back in goodbye, but Lewis rose to his feet in order to hug him, and Sebastian feared that his heart would beat out of his chest as the older man took him in his arms.

Sebastian let out a shaky breath as he buried his face in the crook of Lewis’s neck, shutting his eyes tightly to properly savour the feeling.

“Congratulations Lew” he whispered, feeling Lewis tighten his hold around him at the words “I’m really so proud of you, you deserve it”

“Thanks Sebby” Lewis replied, the earnest tone of his voice as soft as the German’s.

He really didn’t want to be, but Sebastian was the first to pull back, because he knew that their hug had already lasted longer than it should’ve, and that Lewis probably hadn’t stepped away only to be polite.

But when he opened his eyes, it just so happened that his gaze found Nico’s, and an icy feeling spread across his chest.

Nico’s blue eyes were narrowed ever so slightly, a calculating look in them that made Sebastian’s heart race for a very different reason than it had just moments ago.

He didn’t even know what he was so scared about Nico deducing by watching him hug Lewis except -

Except that he did.

And he let go of Lewis as though the other man had burned him.

Lewis looked reasonably confused by his actions, but the wobbly smile Seb managed to give him seemed to reassure him, and he sat back down next to Nico.

Nico, who placed a languid arm around his boyfriend’s shoulders and pulled him close, a possessive hand toying with Lewis’s hair.

“Goodnight Sebastian” the other German said coolly, giving him the thinnest smile possible.

“Y-Yes, goodnight” he stuttered out, before hightailing it out of the fancy restaurant.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe properly until he was safely back in his hotel room, sitting at the edge of the bed and panting as though he’d just gotten out of the car after a particularly tough race.

Sebastian really did not want to think about what had transpired that night, and he really didn’t want to be confronted about it by Nico. Not ever.

(There was also the small fact that he still wasn’t prepared to admit exactly what that _it_ was)

So he chose the coward’s way out, and decided the best course of action was to avoid Lewis and Nico entirely.

* * *

Winter break was a blessing in disguise for him, and he decided to effectively shut off his phone for the entirety of it.

Spending time with his family was the perfect distraction, and after that he’d been very excited about Daniel invitation to him to spend some time exploring Australia before the Melbourne GP.

Him and Daniel had always gotten along, and Sebastian truly was fond of the guy. He’d even go as far as to say that he’d been heaven-sent after having to deal with Mark for so long.

Strangely enough, their friendship had only grown since he left Red Bull, and so when the younger man had invited him to his home country, he hadn’t even hesitated for a second before saying yes.

The German reasoned that he had to start spending time with other drivers who weren’t Lewis and Nico anyways, and there was no one better to hang out with than Dan, with his excitable attitude and refreshingly easygoing nature.

There was always Jenson of course, but the Englishman was entirely too close to Lewis and entirely too good at reading him.

Because of this, he knew that if Jenson asked about Lewis (or, God forbid, Nico), Sebastian would never be able to hide that there was something going on.

And that wouldn’t be so bad if Sebastian actually knew how to explain what that _something_ was.

Daniel had made sure that he didn’t have the energy to even think about his troubles during their time together - even if it was on accident.

The Australian gave him a tour of his family’s farm, he took him on day-long hikes, and he even tried to teach him to surf (keyword being tried).

On the day before they’d have to leave their idyllic holiday to go back to work, they decided to have a little bonfire night right by the beach with some of Dan’s old friends.

They were all just as outgoing as his former teammate was, and Sebastian was pleased to see he fit right in.

At some point during the night the two had drifted away from everyone else, instead choosing to sit in the sand by themselves as they stared towards the ocean and nursed what must have been their fifth beers of the night, enjoying the last moments of peace they’d have in a while.

“Thanks for this Dan” Sebastian said, effectively breaking the comfortable silence that had enveloped them.

Daniel furrowed his brows slightly “For what?”

“I really needed to get away from stuff” he explained vaguely, with a small shrug of his shoulders “and I had a great time”

The younger man gave him one of those blinding smiles that made everyone instantly take a liking to him, and Seb felt warmth flooding his system at the sight.

“No problem at all mate, I really enjoyed having you here”

And well, it was almost embarrassing how emotional those words made him. Apparently, he’d been feeling lonelier than he’d originally thought.

“I really enjoyed being here”

Daniel evidently noticed something was wrong, because the frown was back in his face as he brought a comforting hand up to rest on his shoulder.

“Are you okay Seb?”

Sebastian just let his head fall to the side so it was resting on top of Dan’s hand, and turned to look up at him through lowered lashes.

Daniel gulped audibly at the motion, his eyes dropping briefly to the German’s lips.

He felt something stirring in his lower belly that he hadn’t in a long time, and as his tongue darted to wet his lips, Daniel turned his hand so it was now cupping his cheek.

Since Sebastian didn’t move away, Dan took that as his cue to come closer, tilting the older man’s head up while his own moved down.

Goosebumps erupted all over his skin as Dan pressed their lips together, a breathy moan leaving his mouth when he moved the hand from his face to tangle in blonde hair.

Sebastian returned the favour by letting his own hands come up to bury them in those black curls, tugging gently while Daniel only pulled him closer.

And it wasn’t precisely butterflies that erupted in Seb’s stomach, but it was certainly something, and he was already so used to defining things like that that he couldn’t bring himself to care.

They continued making out slowly, savouring the moment, until Daniel pulled away, chest heaving, his deep brown eyes impossibly darker because of how wide his pupils had blown.

“Do you want to move this somewhere else?” he asked, and the way his voice sounded slightly out of breath went straight down Seb’s pants.

However, he knew he couldn’t do that to Daniel, he couldn’t string him along when he knew he didn’t feel like that about him.

“Dan I - I really do, don’t get me wrong. But I have to tell you that, um, there’s - there’s um -“

“There’s someone else for me too” Daniel cut him off, an amused smile tugging at his lips “so if you’re worrying about breaking my heart, don’t”

Sebastian blinked slowly, not knowing how to answer that.

“There isn’t anyone else” he finally settled on saying, feeling his cheeks flush at the knowing look Dan was giving him “there _isn’t_ ”

“Seb, dear, I do have eyes. I’ve seen the way you look at him”

And really, Sebastian would have argued that he didn’t know who was the _him_ Daniel was talking about, but something told him that he wouldn’t have liked Dan’s answer, so he just decided to shut him up by bringing their lips back together.

Which hey, if he’d known that was such an effective method for making him stop talking, he would’ve tried it a lot sooner.

When Sebastian woke up the next morning, he was very relieved to find out that Daniel was acting exactly the same way as he always had with him, with the only difference being that he now wasn’t afraid to squeeze Seb’s bum when he least expected it.

And he felt lighter than he had in a very long time.

* * *

The 2015 season started much as the last had ended: with Lewis winning the Australian Grand Prix, Nico coming in second place, and Sebastian finishing in third.

Sharing a podium wasn’t ideal for the purposes of Sebastian’s “avoid Lewis and Nico at all costs” plan, but he supposed that not everything could go his way.

It didn’t help that Sebastian was really, really shit at avoiding Lewis.

On the first day back in the paddock Lewis had instantly come bouncing over to him, not even seeming to mind that Seb had been effectively ignoring his messages for the entirety of the break.

And well, one look at that smile and those eyes was enough to break a better man than him, and he’d more than happily accepted Lewis’s hug.

Hugging Lewis was something that always made him feel better, and for a second there he actually forgot why he was avoiding him in the first place.

But life wasn’t that kind to him, and five seconds after he’d wrapped his arms around the Brit he noticed Nico walking straight towards them, shooting Seb a smile that was more teeth than anything else.

Sebastian instantly dropped his arms, stuttering a hello to Nico before making up some random excuse about some media event he had to attend to before turning right on his heel and making a beeline for the Ferrari garage.

He scolded himself all the way there and made a mental note that he couldn’t let his guard down at any moment.

As the season progressed, Sebastian actually managed to stick to the plan, with the podium being virtually the only place where he saw Lewis and Nico anymore.

And he’d like to think that Lewis hadn’t really noticed his absence, but there was no way he could ignore the way his whole face seemed to fall whenever he tried to engage Sebastian in conversation only for him to dip after giving the most generic of excuses.

He’d also started to reply to Lewis’s messages with extremely curt answers, and whenever he invited him somewhere he just said he already had plans.

Which wasn’t always a lie, since Daniel had proven to be a very efficient distraction from the whole Lewis and Nico mess.

Not that Daniel was only a distraction.

The more time he and Seb spent together the more the German came to learn about him, and consequently the more he became convinced he was one of the best people he’d ever met.

Sure, Daniel was funny, everyone knew that. But it turned out that he was also scarily smart (no matter how much he tried to hide it) and incredibly perceptive. Which was probably why he was also the best advice giver Sebastian had ever met.

(Not that Sebastian listened to most of his good advice, but he appreciated the thought)

The Australian had quickly understood that Sebastian wasn’t willing to discuss his “situation”, but he’d also discovered that he could try and talk to him about it if he described everything in the vaguest of terms possible.

Although he really was getting exasperated by having to use the word _him_ instead of the actual name of the person who had Sebastian in such a state, since he felt very much like Harry Potter when he had to refer to Voldemort as he-who-must-not-be-named.

And of course, apart from how great of a friend Daniel was, the sex was also more than amazing.

They didn’t fall into each other’s beds all that often, but it did prove to be a very nice way to let out their frustration at the world when either of them needed it.

One of such times was in Canada, where Daniel hadn’t even managed to get in the points and Sebastian had ended up in a lousy P5 after unexpected issues had arisen in the car.

They hadn’t even waited until the hotel to find each other, and instead Daniel had slipped into Sebastian’s motorhome to jump him the second he stepped into the room, all but smashing their lips together as the door shut closed.

“Missed me that much?” Sebastian laughed into the kiss, already feeling much less frustrated as Daniel’s deft fingers worked on getting him out of his driver’s suit.

“Oh shut up”

The German complied, pushing Daniel back towards the tiny couch until he was laying down straight across it, with Sebastian climbing after him to straddle his waist.

Sebastian was now naked from the waist up, so he decided to return the favour by making quick work of Daniel’s suit and practically ripping the tight blue fireproofs off him.

But before he could lean back down to kiss him, a single knock made them both freeze, their eyes widening in panic.

“Please tell me you locked the door” Dan furiously whispered, dread filling his face as Sebastian quickly shook his head.

“Seb? Can I please talk to you for a second?”

If it was possible, their eyes widened further.

Oh no. Oh _no_.

As soon as they saw the door handle moving Sebastian jumped off of Daniel, but even then, they knew that trying to hide what had been about to happen was pointless.

When the door opened to reveal who was on the other side, Sebastian really thought he’d just gone through the five stages of grief in two seconds flat.

Lewis’s eyebrows shot up to his hairline as he took in the scene inside the room, his eyes darting from Sebastian to Daniel, taking in their naked torsos, very messy hair and swollen lips that were blatant proof of what they’d been up to.

“ _Oh_ ” Lewis finally said, instantly filling the room with more tension that any of the men could stomach “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt”

“Lew this isn’t -“ Sebastian trailed off, because really, what exactly was he planning to say? This isn’t what it looks like?

This was exactly what it looked like, but Sebastian didn’t understand why he felt like he’d just been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

Lewis gave him a tight-lipped smile, one that didn’t even come close to reaching his eyes.

“Don’t Sebastian, it’s fine. At least I finally understand why you’ve been so busy”

With that the Brit turned around and left, slamming the door in his wake with a force that made both Sebastian and Daniel flinch.

“Seb? Are you alright?” Daniel asked tentatively after the German had just stood silently staring at the door for nearly a minute.

That effectively snapped him out of it, and he turned back to the Australian with a very forced smile.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

There was something about the pitying look Dan was giving him that made Sebastian feel tears threatening to pool around his eyes, so he looked away, blinking rapidly to stop that from happening.

“Seb, it’s alright for you to admit that you lo-“

“ _Don’t_ Dan” he choked out, thinking that the last thing he needed at the moment was to actually talk about the “situation”.

Thankfully, Daniel decided not to push it, instead sitting up to shrug his driver’s suit back on.

“Come on,” he said, walking over to where Seb was still standing and squeezing his shoulder reassuringly “I know a place close to the hotel that sells the best poutine you’ve ever eaten”

Seb cracked a smile, grateful that Daniel decided not to comment on his glistening eyes “Are we even allowed to eat poutine?”

“I won’t tell if you won’t” Dan winked, before shouldering Sebastian’s backpack and leading him out of the little room.

Yeah, Sebastian was really grateful to have a friend like Daniel.

* * *

The next few races continued in much the same manner, with Sebastian and Lewis avoiding each other like the plague and the German choosing to stick to Daniel’s side like hot glue.

Although, it was worth noting that nothing physical had happened between them since that fateful evening in Canada.

Try as he might, Sebastian still felt unreasonably guilty about Lewis walking in on them.

For some unexplainable reason, the image of Lewis’s crestfallen face as he saw a half-naked Sebastian next to a half-naked Daniel seemed to be ingrained into his brain, and the more he thought about it the more he felt as though he’d been caught cheating by his partner.

Which didn’t make sense at all, since he and Lewis weren’t even remotely close to being anything but friends.

(And if that thought made Sebastian’s heart ache, he chose to resolutely ignore it)

However, everything changed during the weekend of the Italian Grand Prix.

It must have been around 2 in the morning on the day after the race that very insistent knocking to his hotel room door woke Sebastian up, the sudden wakeup call being so violent that it took him a few seconds to regain his bearings.

The knocking only seemed to be getting more urgent though, and after furiously rubbing his eyes he got up to go see who on earth would need him at such an ungodly hour.

Because of his groggy state he didn’t even think to check through the peephole to see who was on the other side before opening the door, and it was like a bucket of cold water was poured over him when he saw Lewis standing there.

Lewis, with eyes redder than he’d ever seen him, and what seemed to be very fresh tear tracks running down his face.

“Lew? Are you okay?” Sebastian immediately asked, all traces of his previous sleepiness gone as he took in just how distraught his friend looked.

“I-I’m so sorry to bother you Sebastian, I k-know I shouldn’t have but I - I just didn’t know where else to go” the Brit stuttered out, and Seb truly had to use every ounce of self-control he had not to take him into his arms that very second, instead just lightly grabbing his elbow to usher him into the room.

“Nonsense Lewis it’s fine,” he replied, guiding him towards the couch so they could both sit “but please tell me what happened you’re scaring me”

The question seemed to make Lewis even more distraught, a fresh wave of tears pooling in his eyes that had Sebastian’s heartbeat spiking from anxiety.

“I r-really am sorry Seb, I don’t k-know what I did to you for you to p-push me away but I’m so, so sorry -“

“Hey no, you didn’t do anything” Sebastian interrupted, hating to think he could be adding in any way to whatever it was that was bothering Lewis to this extent “But Lew _please_ tell me what’s going on”

Lewis took in a shaky breath, finally unable to keep the fresh tears at bay as some of them ran down his cheeks.

“I-It’s Nico, we had a fight, a very, very bad one”

Sebastian frowned. Lewis and Nico fighting?

Of course he’d heard the rumours about rising tensions in the Mercedes garage, but Seb had brushed them off as nothing but that: rumours.

He knew better than anyone how much Lewis and Nico loved each other, he knew that they’d never let their rivalry on track affect their relationship off it.

Right?

“Do you want to talk about it?” the German asked softly, feeling his heart constrict as Lewis furiously shook his head.

“Not r-really, could I have some tea?”

Sebastian nodded, standing up to quickly fill the electric kettle with water and put an Earl Grey teabag on the little mug.

It was completely silent as the water heated up, with Sebastian not knowing what to say, the only noise being the whirring of the machine and the sniffles still coming from Lewis.

The German poured the water into the mug before adding one of the small packets of brown sugar and giving it a stir, making sure it was completely dissolved.

Lewis gratefully took it from him when he was done, a small smile playing on his lips.

“You remembered the way I drink my tea” the Brit whispered, holding the steaming beverage with both of his hands.

Sebastian felt his cheeks redden slightly. Of course he remembered, he knew from the second Lewis told him on that first morning they spent together in Switzerland that he’d never forget.

“Yeah, I did” he settled for saying, sitting down next to Lewis and giving a smile of his own when he sighed contentedly as he took his first sip, the tension on his shoulders dropping slightly.

The two sat in a comfortable silence for a few minutes, until steam had stopped coming out from the mug and the sniffles had very nearly stopped.

So, Sebastian decided to try again.

(Even if hearing Lewis talk about his relationship with Nico was about the last thing he’d ever want)

“Do you want to talk now?” he asked tentatively, the panic in his chest flaring up once more when Lewis’s eyes instantly welled up with tears again.

He was just about to tell him that they didn’t have to talk if he didn’t want to, but before he could Lewis cleared his throat.

“Things haven’t been good for a while now” Lewis started, his voice barely above a whisper “and after today, I’m not sure they can get any better”

Sebastian had to do everything in his power to keep his expression neutral, although he couldn’t have been more shocked by the news.

Had he really separated himself from his (former?) best friends to the extent that he wasn’t even a little suspicious of their troubles?

“He swears that the team is favouring me, that I’m clearly their number one driver. And today - fuck, Seb, today he went as far as to accuse me of bribing them to give me some sort of advantage”

Sebastian couldn’t school his features at that. He knew Lewis would never even think of doing that, and hell even if he did there was no way anyone at Mercedes would agree.

“I’m not completely innocent of course” Lewis continued, a self-deprecating tilt to his words “I said some things I shouldn’t have, implied maybe he should just work harder...”

The Brit trailed off, Sebastian having to bite his tongue to not say that it was completely reasonable of him to say that. He had to at least try to remain unbiased.

“So I stormed out of our room and asked Angela to ask Britta for your room number”

Seb snorted, partly at the sheepish look on Lewis’s face and partly at the fact that Britta (who knew perfectly well about the “situation”) had so readily given out his private information.

“I’m glad you came, you know you’re always welcome here - both in my hotel room and anywhere else”

“Thanks Seb” Lewis’s smile turned a little more relaxed, bumping his shoulder lightly with his “I really missed you”

Sebastian felt a familiar ache in his chest growing, but he still forced himself to return the smile.

“I missed you too Lew”

 _More than you’ll ever know_.

It was almost 3am when the two finally decided to go to sleep, with Sebastian offering to take the couch so Lewis could stay on the bed.

Let it be known that Sebastian Vettel was nothing less than a perfect gentleman.

He found it hard to sleep knowing that Lewis was sleeping less than a foot away from him, but sheer exhaustion won out and he drifted off to the sound of the other man’s even breathing pattern, not surprised at all that he found it to be incredibly soothing.

The next morning found Sebastian alone in his hotel room once more, with a little note resting on the coffee table that had a message from Lewis scribbled on it.

Apparently, Nico had called him to apologize, and Lewis had agreed to fly back home with him and try to sort things out on the way.

That godforsaken ache in his chest came back at full force, and Sebastian viciously scrunched up the note before dumping it in the trashcan.

It wasn’t like he was realistically expecting for Lewis to up and leave Nico just like that - but he had to admit that a small (big) part of him had been holding on to the hope that he just might.

(He told himself he only wanted that to happen because Lewis deserved better, and not for any other selfish reasons)

* * *

That night proved to be the start of a very unhealthy cycle of events.

Every other race weekend an incredibly distraught Lewis would come to his hotel room, sometimes late at night, sometimes in the early hours of the morning, and always crying because of something Nico had said or done.

And always, without fail, he would leave before Sebastian woke up to go back to him.

This new spin on the “situation” made it near impossible for Sebastian to pretend that he didn’t want to throttle Nico whenever they shared a podium, or worse, when they were forced to sit next to each other at interviews or press conferences.

He couldn’t help but engage in what the media called “banter” but actually was just a thinly veiled exchange of insults with his fellow German though, always ignoring the warning looks Britta gave him whenever she was around to hear them.

And by the daggers Nico shot him when he thought the cameras weren’t filming, Seb was pretty sure he knew it was him who Lewis ran off to whenever they got into a fight.

He had to wonder if Lewis noticed exactly how frosty the relationship between them had gotten, but if he did, he never said anything.

And Sebastian would never, _never_ , tell Lewis what to do with his relationship. He didn’t think it was his place.

But it was becoming increasingly hard for him to not just tell him to dump Nico and move on.

(Move on with hi- _someone_ , with someone who actually appreciated him)

The hardest out of all those times was when Lewis had just won his third Championship, but instead of being out celebrating with his team he was crying in Sebastian’s room because of the hurtful things his boyfriend had told him.

Seb had long stopped trying to refrain from hugging Lewis when he saw him like that, so as soon as he opened the door he took him in his arms and let him burrow his head on the crook of his neck.

“You have to stop letting him hurt you like this Lewis” he murmured into the Brit’s hair, tightening his grip around his waist when his sobs only got harder.

“I-I know, but I love him Seb. And I know he l-loves me too”

He once again had to bite his tongue to not say that he really didn’t think _this_ is what love was supposed to be like.

Instead, he only sighed internally and pulled Lewis closer, trying to once again put together the pieces of his broken heart.

(Although, his brain was screaming at him that maybe he should focus on preventing his own heart from falling apart)

Even though he was already accustomed to their sad morning routine, Sebastian still felt a pang to his chest when he saw the empty bed and the hastily written note.

This time it was somehow worse, since in the note Lewis told him about the plans he had with Nico to spend winter break together in Finland.

Sebastian was more than incredibly glad about having invited Dan to spend some time with him in Switzerland.

Although Daniel had been increasingly vocal about how he thought it wasn’t healthy at all for him to be Lewis’s perpetual shoulder to cry on, especially because of the “situation”.

One night when the two former teammates were lounging around in front of the fireplace, Sebastian’s phone lit up to announce that Lewis was calling.

However, Daniel beat him to it, holding the phone out of Sebastian’s reach as he tried to take it back.

“Dan come on,” Sebastian groaned “it might be an emergency”

Dan scoffed “We both know it’s a Nico emergency, and I’m putting my proverbial foot down”

The phone’s screen went black shortly afterwards, and Sebastian scowled.

“Oh don’t give me that look, you know I care about Lewis and I hate that he’s unhappy as much as you do, but if you’re not going to care about yourself then someone has to”

And though Sebastian was still slightly annoyed, he had to admit he felt very touched about Daniel’s worrying.

“You have to move on Seb, you’re a great guy! I’m sure you can find someone who’s just as great and, most importantly, very available”

“Moving on would imply that I’m hung up on someone, which I’m not” the older man stubbornly declared, pointedly ignoring Dan mumbling something along the lines of _this is getting ridiculous_ “and why are you so interested in my love life huh? What about yours?”

The Aussie went uncharacteristically quiet at the question, and Sebastian quirked an intrigued eyebrow when he noticed his cheeks had gone red.

“Oh?”

Dan smiled sheepishly “Well, remember that someone else I told you about? Turns out he loved me back all along and, uh, we’ve been together for about two weeks now”

Sebastian gave him an ecstatic grin at the news.

“Dan that’s amazing! I’m so happy for you man, do I know the lucky guy?”

“You just might, it’s Michael”

“Michael as in your personal trainer Michael?”

Sebastian’s grin mirrored Dan’s as it got impossibly larger, and it was very clear by the sparkle in his brown eyes that his friend was ridiculously smitten.

“That very same”

“I’m really very happy for you Dan,” Seb reiterated, clapping his shoulder merrily “and I think this calls for a celebratory drink”

With that the topic of the “situation” was successfully put on the back burner, and Sebastian decided to honour Dan’s wishes by turning off his phone for the remainder of his stay there.

And as much as he hated to admit it, the German had most definitely started to feel better the longer he spent without checking his phone.

* * *

When the 2016 season officially started, Sebastian hadn’t heard from Lewis for nearly two whole months.

He only got his first good look at him on Saturday, when the usual post-qualifying press conference was held for the three top drivers.

And to say he was shocked by the sight that met him would be an understatement.

Lewis had the darkest under-eye circles he’d ever seen on him, and one look at Nico told him he wasn’t doing much better.

The Brit had quickly slipped his sunglasses on before they actually headed into the press room, but he didn’t miss the flash of hurt that passed through his eyes when they momentarily crossed paths with the German’s.

Sebastian opened his mouth to say something, but before he could Lewis breezed past him into the room.

It was safe to say Sebastian had never felt guiltier in his entire life.

If last season he had been blissfully unaware of the rising tensions in the Mercedes garage, it was completely impossible to ignore it this time around.

Anyone could tell that Lewis and Nico’s relationship had soured more than considerably, and Sebastian was honest to God shocked at some of their more aggressive attempts at overtaking each other when he watched the replays on television.

The media were obviously eating up all the drama, but the glances shared between the drivers that were familiar with Lewis and Nico (read: Sebastian, Jenson, Felipe, Daniel and even Fernando) were enough to show that they were all genuinely worried about the two of them causing an incident.

And when Spain rolled around, their worries were proven to not have been unfounded.

The fact that the two Mercedes had taken each other out was less surprising than the fact that it’d taken so long for it to happen.

Even if Sebastian had gotten a podium, he was more preoccupied with going to find Lewis than with celebrating with the team.

Daniel clearly had a sixth sense about his impulsive tendencies, because he insisted on riding back to the hotel with Sebastian and going with him to check on Lewis.

Just when Seb had started to worry about who they could ask that would give them Lewis’s room number, he quickly found out that wouldn’t be necessary.

Because as Sebastian and Daniel walked into the lobby, they both instantly zoned in on Lewis and Nico, who were engaged in what seemed to be a very heated discussion right by the entrance of the hotel’s bar.

“Fuck” Daniel cursed, noticing how the two teammates were already attracting some looks from the staff and the guests.

“We should intervene right?”

Even if it was posed as a question, Sebastian had already started walking towards them, leaving Dan to follow him in quiet resignation.

“Just admit it Hamilton, you can’t stand to see me win, so much so that you’d rather take both of us out of the competition” Nico snarled, his usually soft blue eyes seeming to be ablaze with fury.

Lewis wasn’t much better, his hands balled up in tight fists at his side “Contrary to what you may think not everything is about you Rosberg!”

The two were standing so close together that Sebastian could swear he could see violent sparks flying between them.

It wasn’t common for two stars to collide.

But two stars that shone so bright that they attracted each other were bound to come together at some point.

And sometimes, that collision would threaten to make them implode, the force of the impact strong enough to burn them both out as well as everything in their path.

Sebastian stepped closer, but it wasn’t until he was almost between the two men that they finally noticed him.

“Guys can we take this somewhere more private?” he asked in a calm voice, as if he were speaking to two easily spooked animals.

“ _You_ stay the fuck out of this” Nico bit out, and if the shocked look on Lewis’s face at the tone of his voice was anything to go by, Sebastian’s question of whether or not he was aware of how frosty the relationship between the two Germans had gotten was easily answered.

“Unless you want this little spat to be all over the tabloids tomorrow, I suggest you listen to him” Dan piped in, and although he had on his signature easy smile, his eyes were narrowed in warning.

“And I suggest _you_ also stay out of this” Lewis retorted, his angry gaze finally leaving Nico to focus on Dan.

Which, yeah. Sebastian had no idea what that was all about.

“Daniel is just trying to help, Lewis, as am I”

Lewis now turned to him, and Sebastian nearly recoiled because of how angry he looked.

“Oh now you want to help?”

Sebastian felt a pang of hurt in his chest, and he didn’t know if he imagined it or not, but he thought he could see a brief flash of regret in the Brit’s eyes.

“That’s not fair Lewis” Daniel intervened, taking a step forward that in turn made Lewis step forward and Nico follow suit.

Alarms started ringing on Seb’s head as he realised that this situation could escalate quickly.

“What’s it to you Ricciardo?”

“Really Nico, last names? Very mature”

“Alright everyone just calm down” Sebastian interrupted, pulling Dan back by the shoulder.

“ _Why? This is probably what you’ve always wanted, no?_ ” Nico accused, switching over to German so only Seb could understand him “ _Me fighting with Lewis must be a dream for you_ ”

“ _The last thing I want is for Lewis to be unhappy_ ” Sebastian replied, trying to remain composed even if all he wanted was to turn around and walk away.

Nico laughed, but it came out as a bitter sound “ _That’s a very broad statement and you know it_ ”

“ _Well I don’t know what you want me to say Nico_ ” he bit out, frustration finally seeping into his voice.

“ _I want you to admit that you love him_ ”

Sebastian felt himself pale, an icy feeling clawing through his entire body.

Neither Daniel nor Lewis could understand a single word of what the two men were saying, but they could both still tell that Nico had said something big.

“ _I - I don’t -_ “

Nico smirked, a sharp tilt of his lips that reminded Sebastian of the snarl of a wolf.

“ _But at the end of the day Sebastian, no matter how many times he goes running to you, you’d do well to remember it’s my name that Lewis screams when I fuck him_ ”

That was all it took to make something inside him snap, and Sebastian lunged towards Nico, punching him right across the jaw.

Nico didn’t hesitate in returning the gesture, before he was quickly being pulled back by Lewis while Daniel did the same with Sebastian.

“Sebastian - Sebastian stop there’s people watching” Dan pleaded, struggling to keep his former teammate from trying to get in another punch.

“ _I don’t care, that bastard deserves it_ ”

“ _Oh I’m the bastard?_ ” Nico scoffed, also fighting against Lewis’s hold “ _I’m not the one trying to steal my friend’s boyfriend -_ “

“That’s quite enough” a very distinctive voice cut through their ruckus, Nico instantly straightening up as Toto Wolff came storming towards them.

“Toto -“

“Not here Nico” the team principal interrupted, making the blonde’s lips snap shut “you and Lewis are coming with me, and I trust Daniel can take Sebastian somewhere else without me having to call Christian or Mauricio”

The four of them nodded like scolded children, even if Sebastian still felt a fiery rage burning inside him.

“Good, let’s go”

Toto gave them a thin smile before placing one hand each on his drivers’ backs to lead them away, but not before Lewis shot a worried look towards Sebastian.

“We should get out of here too” Dan mumbled as he looked around at the people still staring at them, guiding Seb to the elevator with a hand he’d put on his lower back.

Seb couldn’t even tell how long the elevator ride lasted, but before he knew it Daniel was pushing him into a room and forcing him to sit down.

“Alright, what the fuck happened down there?”

Not having Lewis and Nico directly in front of him was enough for Sebastian’s anger to dissipate, leaving in its wake only a small fizzle and the ache that he was starting to feel in his jaw.

“Can you give me some ice?”

Daniel sighed but nodded, grabbing a towel from the bathroom before filling it with ice from the mini fridge and giving it to Seb so he could press it against his reddening bruise.

“I won’t let you avoid this discussion, not when the “situation” has gotten so out of hand” the Aussie leaned back on the wall with his arms crossed, still looking at him expectantly “I may not speak German, but I heard his name. Doesn’t take a genius to connect the dots”

Sebastian sighed defeatedly, because he knew there was no way Dan was backing out from talking about this. Not again.

So he let out a shuddery breath, trying to steel himself.

“Nico said - he said that he wanted me to admit that I am - that I’m -“

“That you’re in love with Lewis”

Sebastian flinched, feeling like the words had physically punched him just like Nico had.

“That I’m in love with Lewis, yes” he whispered, softly, the words he had avoided saying for so long feeling incredibly foreign in his tongue.

His shoulders sagged immediately after uttering them, both in exhaustion and in relief that lightning hadn’t struck him for daring to say them out loud.

“Is that such a bad thing?” Daniel asked, his soft tone matching Seb’s, and his eyes filled with compassion.

“It is. It is, because he’s my best friend and he’s in love with someone else. And you have no idea how painful it is to watch him be with him and having to pretend like everything’s fine. Like it isn’t absolutely killing me inside”

By the end of his little outburst Seb could feel hot tears pooling in his eyes, and he furiously pressed the palms of his hands against them to stop them from falling.

Dan looked sufficiently startled, quickly stepping forwards to sit next to him and pull him into a fierce hug.

That was all it took for Sebastian to completely break down, his shoulders racking with sobs as Dan ran a soothing hand up and down his back.

It was like he was finally allowing the dam that was holding his emotions to break, leaving them to pour out, and he cried about all the things he had been holding in for longer than he could remember.

He was almost scarily sure that he had fallen in love with Lewis the second he’d laid eyes on him, and he hadn’t stopped loving him since, no matter how badly he’d tried to avoid or suppress those feelings.

“Oh Seb, I don’t think that’s love anymore mate. Maybe I’ve only been with Michael for a few months but I know he would never treat me the way they’ve treated each other - and shit I would never even dream of hurting him in any way”

To some extent Sebastian knew that he was right, but he’d spent so long convincing himself that he felt nothing for Lewis that it was almost as if he couldn’t even think about the remote possibility that they could ever be anything more than friends.

“And I don’t know if it’s my place to say it, but I’ve seen the way Lewis looks at you when he thinks no one’s watching... and I really do think he might feel the same way”

Sebastian froze, trying and failing to process what Dan had just told him.

A tiny spark of hope flared on his chest, but he viciously stomped it out before it could grow into something bigger.

“You can’t just say that” he croaked, his voice a truly pitiful sound “there’s no way Lewis could ever love me. He’s a _star_ Dan, and I’m just -“

“Just a four-time world champion? Just a really good man?” Daniel interrupted, placing both hands on his shoulders and leaning back so he could look him in the eyes “Don’t put yourself down Sebastian. You’re also a star, a very shiny fucking one at that”

The German snorted wetly, a sliver of a smile appearing on his face that was enough to make Dan grin.

“You’ll keep shining bright, with or without Lewis, but listen to me when I tell you that yours isn’t a tragic unrequited love story. I just know it”

Sebastian felt his smile getting more genuine, even if he couldn’t completely believe in what his friend was telling him.

“Thanks Dan, you would make an amazing therapist you know? If the whole Formula 1 driver thing doesn’t work out”

Dan laughed, happy to see Seb going back to his usual cheeky self.

“Always good to have a backup plan”

* * *

Sebastian didn’t speak to Lewis at all during the following races, both because the younger man was too scared to be faced with his anger again and because the Brit was too busy doing everything in his power to beat Nico.

If Seb had thought things might get better between the two, he had been severely mistaken.

It was impossible to ignore the whispers around the paddock that spoke about how the tensions in Mercedes were reaching an all-time high.

Word was that not even Toto knew what to do about the so-called “silver war” anymore, and there had never before been a situation Toto Wolff couldn’t handle.

Lewis and Nico had become obsessed not only with winning, but also with completely obliterating each other.

Literally every single driver had taken to avoiding being in the same room at the same time as them, since it had quickly become clear that it would always result in a screaming match.

Even the press conferences had become almost unbearably uncomfortable when both men were there - which unfortunately happened very often, since the media absolutely loved the added drama

As for Sebastian, he was surprised at how little had changed since he had finally admitted to himself that he was in love with Lewis.

He could finally accept that those feelings had been there for a ridiculous amount of time, so the only difference was that now he didn’t have to engage in mental acrobatics to justify why he was feeling a certain way.

It was almost liberating.

However, it did make seeing Lewis’s despair all the more painful.

With each day that passed he looked more and more like a shell of the man he had known just a year before, and it was killing Sebastian to see him doing so much physical and mental damage to himself.

He also had absolutely no idea if he and Nico were still together, but he really, _really_ hoped that was not the case.

Because if their relationship had been unhealthy for a while now, he couldn’t even imagine how awful it could have gotten by now.

But the uncertainty kept him from going to check on Lewis, or even from texting him. He didn’t want to add on to his troubles in the very likely chance of Nico finding out about it.

And then, after 10 grueling races that for the most part went either to Lewis or Nico, the Malaysian Grand Prix rolled around.

Sebastian had to retire very early on because of a collision with Nico, which caused irreparable damage to his car while still allowing the Mercedes to remain in competition.

(And Sebastian didn’t do it on purpose, of course, but he did have to admit that he wasn’t all that sorry for ruining Nico’s start)

He managed to park the car next to the barriers and jump out, taking off the steering wheel before accepting a ride back to the pitlane on the little scooter of one of the marshals.

He headed straight to the motorhome after that, not really caring about the result of the race and not wanting to watch another round of Lewis’s and Nico’s borderline homicidal competition.

Sebastian wasted no time before changing into a red polo and some shorts, fully intending to go back to the hotel and take a nap.

Or he had, until his driver’s room door burst open to reveal none other than Lewis Hamilton standing on the other side.

“Lewis? What are you doing here?” he asked, eyebrows shooting up in surprise as he glanced at the clock hanging on the wall. There was no way the race was already over.

“I had a DNF, my motor had some sort of issue” Lewis shrugged, looking way less bothered about it than Sebastian expected him to.

The Brit didn’t look frustrated at all really. If anything, he just looked completely exhausted.

“Oh. I’m sorry about that, bad luck”

Lewis shrugged again, closing the door and leaning on it, letting his head fall back to rest against it.

Sebastian didn’t know what to say, and he could sense there was something the other man wanted to tell him, so he decided to wait in silence until he found the words.

After a few moments the Brit took a deep breath, casting his eyes down to the floor.

“Nico has been cheating on me”

Sebastian’s jaw actually dropped, the shock rendering him speechless for a second.

Whatever he had been expecting to come out of Lewis’s mouth, it definitely wasn’t that.

“He _what_?”

“Yeah,” Lewis whispered, somehow managing to look even more tired than he had before “I had been suspecting it for a while now, but I just... I guess I just never thought he’d do that to me, you know?”

His usually bright brown eyes were incredibly dull, and the bags under them were so big they gave a sunken look to his whole face.

“Lew... I’m so sorry man” Sebastian breathed out, anger and sympathy fighting it out inside his chest over which emotion prevailed.

“I knew things were bad, of course I did. It hadn’t been healthy for long time but I thought we were more than that. If - if not for the love we had for each other, I thought he’d never do that because of our friendship”

His voice wavered at that last part, and Seb tentatively stepped forward, wanting to comfort him but not knowing what he should do.

He also noticed how Lewis was talking in the past tense, but he wasn’t about to ask him about that.

“We grew up together, he was my best friend before anything else and I - I really thought he was the love of my life, I thought... fuck” at this point Lewis couldn’t keep his voice from breaking, his seemingly calm composure faltering “I thought our relationship was worth more than that, I thought I was worth more than that”

Sebastian threw all caution to the wind and moved to take Lewis into his arms, the older man seeming to melt into the embrace.

“He took her to _our_ house Seb, he slept with her in the same bed we used to make love in”

The German felt his own heart breaking for Lewis, so he couldn’t begin to imagine how bad he must have felt.

As much as Sebastian loved Lewis, he would much rather see him happily married to Nico than completely devastated because of him.

“And the worst part is that I’ve known for a long time now, but I decided to ignore it to cling to the hope that maybe one day we’d magically go back to the way it was. But I don’t think I can do it anymore”

Sebastian hated to hear Lewis sounding so defeated.

He’d never known him to be one to give up on anything, so for him to be saying he couldn’t keep trying to fix his relationship with Nico was nothing short of monumental.

“I think you need to focus on what you need Lewis” he finally said, being very careful with his words “and to do that you need to start listening to your brain”

Lewis sniffed “Can’t you just tell me what to do?”

“I’m afraid I can’t do that” Seb chuckled, thinking to himself that if he was a lesser man, he would’ve definitely told Lewis to dump Nico’s ass a while ago “but I’ll be here to help you through whatever you decide”

The Brit pulled back slightly, just enough to be able to look up at Sebastian. He was glad to see some of the shine had come back to those brown eyes.

“Thanks Seb - and I’m really sorry for what I said in Spain. I realize now I’ve been using you as my personal therapist, it hardly seems fair”

Sebastian snorted, thinking about how he’d said nearly the exact same thing to Daniel not that long ago.

He supposed they both owed Daniel big time.

“Don’t worry about it, you know I’m always here if you need me”

It was at that moment that Sebastian noticed just how close to each other they were standing.

If he focused hard enough, he could make out the little specks of golden adorning Lewis’s otherwise dark eyes, and he could even see the little moles that were scattered across his beautiful skin.

He could feel the atmosphere around them changing, getting charged with something Sebastian couldn’t quite put his finger on.

And then Lewis’s eyes flickered down to his lips, and the younger man could literally feel his throat dry up.

The two leaned impossibly closer, almost as if they were being pulled together by a force stronger than them.

But just as their lips were about to touch, Sebastian mustered up all the self-restraint he had and took a step back, even if his heart was screaming at him to let go.

Thankfully his brain was smarter than that, because he knew he couldn’t take advantage of Lewis when he was so vulnerable.

A flash of disappointment passed through Lewis’s eyes, and it really took everything in Sebastian’s power not to simply give in.

It wouldn’t be fair to Lewis, but it also wouldn’t be fair to himself.

Seb cleared his throat, clapping Lewis’s shoulder in an overtly friendly manner “Come on let’s go back to the hotel, we can get unhealthy room service and watch shitty movies”

Lewis’s smile turned more genuine at that, clearly grateful that Sebastian was willing to take his mind off things.

“Sounds like a plan”

So the two did just that, and they went as far as to shutting off their phones so no one would bother them.

(Sebastian did shoot a text to Britta beforehand, because while he wasn’t scared of anyone at Ferrari, he definitely was scared of her)

He loaned a pair of sweats and one of his many t-shirts to Lewis so he could be more comfortable, but the unfortunate side effect was that seeing the older man wearing his clothes was doing absolutely nothing to help his poor heart.

They didn’t talk at all about Nico, they didn’t even talk about anything work related, instead sticking to discussing the terrible life choices of the characters of whichever movie was playing.

Lewis ended up falling asleep a little after the fifth movie started playing, letting his head fall on Sebastian’s lap so he could lay down on the couch more comfortably.

Seb’s entire body stilled, the only movement being the erratic beating of his heart.

The way Lewis had so readily gotten himself comfortable on top of Sebastian was making his head spin, and he could do nothing but bring a shaky hand to rest on his head and start carding gentle fingers through his braids.

The Brit seemed to melt at the gesture, and he almost reminded Seb of a cat with the way he snuggled further into his lap.

It all seemed so intimate that the younger man had to remind himself that it didn’t mean anything, that he was just comforting a _friend_ in his time of need.

Even then, right before Sebastian drifted off to sleep with his fingers still burrowed in Lewis’s hair, he thought that he hadn’t felt this content in a long time.

And when he woke up the next morning, it was to find Lewis still safely curled up right by his side.

* * *

By the time Abu Dhabi rolled around, Sebastian had to admit he was slightly disappointed by how little he’d seen of Lewis since they woke up together in Malaysia.

Lewis had refused his offer to fly out to Japan together, explaining that as little as he wanted to, there was some business he needed to attend to.

And Sebastian would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared that this would be just the next episode in the vicious cycle that had taken over his life, and he mentally prepared himself to see Lewis back together with Nico in the Suzuka GP.

However, one look at the two men was enough to tell him that his worries had been completely unfounded.

Neither Lewis nor Nico seemed capable to even look at each other, going as far as to angling their chairs so they were facing the opposite direction whenever they happened to sit next to each other.

It didn’t make Sebastian happy to see them like that, but the one thing that made his anxiety settle was that Lewis didn’t look devastated anymore.

The dark bags under his eyes were still there, but at least the pained look that had plagued him for months now had almost completely disappeared.

The same couldn’t be said for Nico, whose handsome face twisted with bitterness and something akin to regret whenever his eyes unwittingly fell on his ex-lover.

Sebastian wanted nothing more than to seek Lewis out and ask him what had happened, but his therapist (Dan) told him it was best for him to let the Brit breathe and lick his wounds in peace until he was ready to reach out to him.

It definitely wasn’t easy to follow that advice, but he made do, and by the time Abu Dhabi rolled around he only hoped that Lewis was ready to talk to him before they went their separate ways for winter break.

Abu Dhabi had ended up being the title decider, and it was almost poetic how the race had ended with Nico, Lewis and Sebastian back together in the podium, in that order.

Nico had managed to secure the title, only five points ahead of Lewis.

Sebastian expected for the Brit to be completely devastated, but he was surprised to notice that – while he did look somewhat crestfallen – the emotion most prominent on his face while they collected their trophies was just exhaustion.

And his fellow German looked sufficiently ecstatic by having acquired the oh-so-coveted title, but if you paid close enough attention you could see that his blue eyes weren’t as brighter as they could have.

Sebastian wondered if he was regretting letting go of all he had to get to where he was.

During the champagne ceremony Lewis almost seemed to gravitate towards Seb, and the younger man was more than willing enough to provide a distraction and a shoulder to lean on while Nico focused his celebrations on the team that were standing below him.

When the celebrations were over and they could finally move away from the cameras, Lewis instantly sought out Sebastian and wrapped his arms around him in a firm embrace, seeming to melt into him as all the tension he’d been carrying fell from his shoulders.

They stood like that for quite a long time, until Lewis let out a shuddering sigh that sent a shiver down Sebastian’s spine.

“Is it wrong that I’m just glad it’s over?”

The double meaning of his words definitely wasn’t lost on Sebastian, and he gently shook his head.

“No, it’s not”

It wasn’t exactly the conversation he had expected for them to have, but somehow those few words told him everything he needed to know.

They separated again to go to their respective teams, but now Sebastian could finally feel calm, even as he watched Lewis walk away.

And then, the proverbial bomb was dropped during the post-race interviews.

The look on Lewis’s face told him that he’d been as unaware of Nico’s decision to retire as everyone else was, mostly because he wasn’t quick enough to stop the relief from shining through his features, even if the slip up had lasted for merely a second.

Sebastian supposed that it was one way to ensure that he’d be going out with a bang, and even if he didn’t necessarily agree with Nico’s decision, he respected it.

It pained him to know that who had once been one of his best friends had now turned into a virtual stranger, and a part of him wished that their shared history could have ended under better circumstances.

The universe must have been having a good old laugh at him, since when he stepped into the hotel elevator the next morning, ready to go back home, he came face to face with no other than the current World Champion.

Blue eyes met blue eyes then, and Sebastian offered him an awkward smile before stepping into the metal box.

Seb cursed whoever had decided to make this building seventy stories high as the elevator seemed to be going down at a glacial pace, since the tense atmosphere was almost enough to make him feel lightheaded.

He felt like hours had passed when the elevator was only reaching the fiftieth floor, and he was so focused on the changing numbers that he nearly jumped out of his skin when a soft voice broke through the thick silence.

“I never meant to hurt him”

Sebastian turned to look at Nico then, thinly veiled surprised showing on his face.

“I know what I did to him was terrible, but he also hurt me”

“Nico…”

“No, please let me finish”

The younger man pressed his lips together, nodding carefully.

“If I could change things, believe me when I say I would. But we both made our decisions, and the only thing we can do now is to live with them, as painful as it may be right now”

Nico blinked up at the ceiling, his eyes glistening with unshed tears.

“I’m sorry for what happened between us, Sebastian. I wish things had never gotten this messy, and I hope you know that I really did value our friendship. I know that you can’t help how you feel, and I should never have blamed you for our problems when it wasn’t at all your fault”

Now Sebastian was well and truly shocked, and he felt his heart clench painfully at the emotion that the usually guarded German was letting show.

“I don’t even know what I’m trying to get at by telling you all this, but I just – I just felt like you should know” Nico once again allowed himself to make eye contact with the younger man, his features once again schooled into a calmer expression “And I hope you two are happy together, in whatever form that may be”

Sebastian was stunned speechless by that, and as if they were in a movie the elevator reached the ground floor at that exact moment.

Nico shot him a tight yet honest smile, nodding his head in goodbye before walking through the open doors.

“Nico”

The blonde stopped in his tracks at the sound of his name, turning his head slightly, just enough to look at Sebastian out of the corner of his eye.

“Congratulations” he offered honestly, his own lips curling up when Nico’s own smile grew just a little bigger.

“Thank you, Sebastian, and goodbye”

After those words he resumed his exit, walking away with the same grace and poise that he had when Sebastian had met him all those years ago.

* * *

Sebastian didn’t see Lewis at all during the winter break, but unlike last year it wasn’t because they were avoiding each other.

The Brit had chosen to spend as much time as he could with his family, and Seb really supported that, since he knew that he still had a lot to work through to properly get over his relationship with Nico, and there was no better way to do that than with the help of his loved ones.

They did text continuously throughout that time, and even with their physical distance, Sebastian hadn’t felt as close to him in a very long time.

Sebastian wouldn’t precisely describe the 2017 season as peaceful. This was a competitive sport after all, and one of the most cutthroat at that.

But he would be lying if he said that it hadn’t felt much less stressful than the last one - at least as far as he was concerned.

The beginning of the season was everything he wanted, with him taking the win in Australia and Lewis coming in second place.

They switched positions in China, and then back again in Bahrain.

And truly, Sebastian never felt as alive as he did when he was competing against Lewis.

Every single time they fought it out on track it never failed to send a thrill down his spine, no matter how many times they had done it at this point.

And while he had dreaded sharing the podium with Lewis and Nico last season, this time he could fully revel in being up there with only Lewis.

(Because even if they would always be the trio who’d shared the most podiums in history, Lewis and Sebastian’s count would keep growing, to this day)

Where Lewis had looked at Nico with resentment and anger whenever he came second, he only looked at Sebastian with a delighted glint in his eye and said: “ _well done, I’ll catch you next time_ ”.

He probably shouldn’t say it, but Sebastian really hoped he did.

Their relationship off the track also kept getting better and better, and they’d even taken to spending their off time together, either at Monaco or Switzerland or England or even sometimes Italy.

Sebastian had yet to act upon his feelings, and he honestly wasn’t sure if he ever would, but the thought didn’t torment him anymore.

He was sure there was _something_ growing between them, and he was more than willing to let that something grow naturally.

However badly it had ended, he never forgot that Lewis had been in love with Nico, and that love had been a part of him for more than half a decade.

You didn’t get over that in a month, but that didn’t matter when it felt like they had all the time in the world.

There had been moments where Sebastian had wanted nothing more than to close the distance between them and finally have a taste of Lewis’s lips, but he always held back, trying to convey to the older man that the ball was entirely on his court.

And Lewis had never verbalized it, but Seb could tell that he was grateful.

They had also taken to hanging out with Daniel and Michael whenever possible, even if the Aussie driver relentlessly teased them about how he couldn’t wait to officially call their meetings “double dates”.

Michael would always slap him across the head for that though, while Sebastian’s face got redder than his Ferrari polo and Lewis chuckled bashfully.

2017 was proving to be such an amazing year that Sebastian couldn’t bring himself to feel too disappointed when Lewis secured the title after the Mexican Grand Prix.

He had given a hell of a fight, and he was already looking forward to restarting the battle next year.

The German had been the first to congratulate Lewis for his win, and this time, when he took the older man in his arms, he didn’t have to worry about keeping it short.

Thousands of cameras flashed around them, but neither man cared, instead reveling in each other’s embrace, too caught up in the other to pay attention to the outside world.

Lewis somehow managed to sneak away from the team’s celebrations so they could have their own little party in the city, the two of them plus Michael and Daniel sneaking out of the hotel like teenagers to have a taste of the Mexican nightlife.

They ended up at some cantina Daniel had somehow found on the internet, downing shots of tequila and eating their weight in quesadillas until well into the early hours of the morning.

The four of them stumbled out of the little building at nearly six in the morning, Michael all but carrying Daniel in his arms while his boyfriend tried to sing a song he had taken a liking to in his frankly terrible Spanish.

Lewis and Sebastian managed to be a little more composed than that, but the Brit still kept a firm arm around the German’s shoulders.

The few rays of sun that were starting to show on the horizon made the virtually empty city streets look like something out of a movie, bathing everything in a beautiful orange hue that would make even the coldest man’s heart soar.

Sebastian allowed himself to crane his neck to look at Lewis as they walked, and when he saw his face colored in sun, he thought to himself that, yes, for that man, he would wait forever.

* * *

Just like that, everything had come full circle.

Lewis had been crowned World Champion for a fourth time, catching up and managing to match Sebastian’s titles.

The Brit felt like all the pieces of the puzzle that made up his life were falling back together, finally, after two years of thinking they never would.

Winning the championship felt like the best sort of redemption after last season, and as he passed the checkered flag in Abu Dhabi right after Valtteri, he couldn’t help the tears that welled up in his eyes.

He took a second to compose himself before jumping out of the car on the parc fermé, not thinking it twice before rushing over to the team and jumping into the sea of white shirts that welcomed him with open arms.

Valtteri was there to greet him when he stepped back, and the Finn tensed when Lewis practically threw himself at him, clearly not expecting such an enthusiastic hug.

“Congratulations Val” he screamed, knowing that was the only way his teammate would hear him through his helmet and over the roaring of the crowd.

Valtteri answered by tightening his arms around Lewis, shouting his congratulations back.

As they separated, Lewis turned to look at the car parked in front of the third-place sign, and his heart leapt to his throat as he saw that familiar shade of red.

He took the helmet off as he walked towards the cool down room, barely able to smile and say thank you to all the people that rushed his way to offer their congratulations.

He was grateful for all their support, but it was as though he had gotten tunnel vision, only able to keep walking forwards, as if being pulled by an invisible string.

(An invisible red string, maybe)

It was like something out of a movie.

Lewis stepped into the room, and as though he could sense it Sebastian turned around, the biggest smile stretching across his face when his eyes landed on him.

And seeing that smile was enough for Lewis to forget about everything else. About the cameras, about the people.

He simply surged forward and wrapped his arms around Sebastian, burying his face on the crook of his neck and feeling warmth flooding his chest when the German’s arms instinctively came to wrap around his waist.

Sebastian swayed them both from side to side as they hugged, and it was impossible for Lewis not to remember another moment incredibly similar to this, back in Austria, in 2008.

But the image was gone in a second - and that was when he knew he had finally let go.

Sebastian was the first to walk out to the podium, followed by Lewis and finally Valtteri.

Abu Dhabi at night was always a sight to behold, and this time in particular all the flashing lights seemed to be brighter than they’d ever been.

Then it was time for the champagne, and Lewis and Sebastian instantly targeted Valtteri before turning their aim towards each other, laughing like children as they got absolutely drenched in the sticky alcohol.

They fed each other champagne, and Lewis thought it tasted so much sweeter when it came out of Sebastian’s bottle.

Fireworks soon illuminated the night sky, turning the blackness into startling technicolor.

Lewis turned away from the spectacle of light after a couple of minutes to look at Sebastian, and somehow, he wasn’t surprised to find him already staring back.

And it was at that point that it clicked.

When the ceremony was over, they all headed back to their respective rooms, but Lewis had no intention of staying there for too long.

Instead, he headed towards the Ferrari motorhome, not bothering to hide, knowing that no one would try to stop him, not tonight.

He barged into the tiny room the same way Sebastian had all those years ago, but now it was just the two of them in there.

The moment their eyes met, Lewis could swear he felt a surge of electricity rushing through his body, seemingly filling the room with static that made him want to step towards the German but at the same time kept him stuck firmly where he was standing.

They must have been staring at each other in silence for less than ten seconds, but to them it felt like hours had passed before Sebastian finally had the courage to break through it.

“We met before Formula 3” he blurted out, not knowing where he wanted to go with that statement yet feeling like it was the only thing he could say.

“I know” Lewis replied, a small grin tugging at his lips at Sebastian’s shocked face.

“You do?”

“Of course I do” he stepped forward, every step making his heart beat faster and faster “how could I ever forget the blushing kid who out of nowhere fell right into my arms?”

“Why did you never say anything?” Sebastian murmured, his voice soft, yet seeming to travel across the room and reach Lewis with ease.

He took another few steps forward.

“I don’t know, I guess I thought you were the one who didn’t remember”

“I never forgot” his answer was quick, as if needing to make sure Lewis believed him “I never forgot about you”

More steps forward, and now Lewis was close enough to Sebastian that he could feel the warmth emanating from his body.

“I’m sorry it took me so long to find my way here” Lewis breathed out, not missing the way Sebastian shivered when his breath fanned across his face.

“I’d always wait for you” he answered, and although his whole body was trembling, there wasn’t a trace of hesitation in his voice.

Lewis shook his head, “You don’t have to, not anymore”

His words seemed to snap something inside of Sebastian, because the next thing he knew the blonde was closing the tiny amount of distance between them and capturing his lips in a desperate kiss.

The moment their lips met, Lewis could swear he felt something physically click inside his chest.

That was the last piece of the puzzle, and now it really had all fallen into place.

Kissing Sebastian was a feeling Lewis would never be able to describe.

It felt natural, like something that had always been meant to happen, something he had been born to do.

There was nothing of the aggressiveness that was always present whenever he kissed Nico - because no matter how fierce the kiss was, Sebastian’s hold on his waist remained soft, tender, caring.

As though he was handling something precious.

Strong hands came to cup Sebastian’s face when they came up for air, and as the Brit opened his eyes, he almost felt dizzy at the sheer amount of devotion he saw in the younger man’s gaze.

He had no doubt that that look was mirrored in his own.

“Lew...” Sebastian choked out, a tidal wave of emotion constricting his throat “you need to tell me if this is what you really want, because if you keep looking at me like that I don’t think I’ll be able to let you go”

Lewis ran his thumb across Sebastian’s cheek, drying a stray tear that had unwillingly escaped from his eyes.

“Then don’t”

He could only glimpse the blinding grin on the German’s face for a second before he was kissing him once more, all the tension washing away from his body as he pulled Lewis flush against him.

It wasn’t often that two stars collided.

And when it happens, sometimes it’s just like two cars crashing, an explosion of light and fire that threatens to destroy everything that crosses its way.

But sometimes?

Sometimes the two stars merged, coming together to create something bigger, something brighter.

Something beautiful.

**Author's Note:**

> And that, as they say, was that.
> 
> I really really hope you guys liked this because I love this ship (and friendship tbh) so much, so I hope with all my heart that I made them justice.
> 
> Also if you want please remember to leave kudos and/or comments because they make me so happy and they do inspire me to keep writing, and also remember that you can go find me on tumblr at @lewixco.
> 
> Until next time 🤍


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